Oh look, another Life in New York comic. Though this really could be set anywhere that people lurk about wondering why they aren’t as fun as everyone around them. I apologize in advance for the title.
I’ve been hard at work lately getting back into cartooning. You might recall my character Melchior, the mildly indolent wizard mysteriously coexisting with the modern world. He’s a fellow I’ve been fiddling around with for years now, and I’m pretty exciting about where he seems to be taking me. A lot of it gets posted to instagram, if you care to follow it there.
Dancing Bear Variety Hour season two is also picking up momentum, but that’s a different story.
Over the last few weeks I’ve drawn a couple comics about my New Life in New York City. Maybe a little cliche? I don’t know. But it’s leading to comics, like this one, recounting one version of the recent WNYC holiday party.
Just by way of updates, I’m slowly getting the back episodes of Dancing Bear Variety Hour online. You can subscribe on iturns or RSS over there on the right side of the page. Which is just great. What about Season 2 you ask? It’s in the works, and methinks the post-internship unemployment I’m staring down the barrel of bodes quite well for writing time…
Here’s a checklist of today’s tasks still unfinished as of 11:06pm: graduation announcements, web pilot script, KJHK duties document, revise thesis for submission tomorrow. It goes on like that. While those are all important responsibilities to tend to, it seems I decided this evening should be spent making a new promo for Dancing Bear Variety Hour. And it’s awesome. Like the best radio work I’ve ever done. Or heard. And I just really wanted to share it with you. Behold:
If this is totally baffling to you, I’ve made this handy key based on increasing levels of generality. Stop when you see something you recognize:
AstroBase is the military organization of the USS Carpathia
Which is the science-fiction series featured on the Dancing Bear Variety Hour
Which is a radio comedy show and podcast I run
Because I’ve spent the last two years working at KJHK
Because I’m in an MFA program at KU
Because I’m a writer
And my name is Scott
You really don’t know me, do you?
Anyhow, I encourage everyone to download this, spread it around, and enlist in AstroBase today.
“As a space-going adventurer regularly described as both rugged and intrepid, I rarely have time for such frivolities as radio entertainment. Why listen to life when you can be living it, is my attitude! I can’t tell you who won the last Earth Idol, but I can tell you what it’s like to bed a Balkovaarian maiden under the purple moons, your hands still shaky from asteroid-field dogfights. But if you have to fritter away your time with popular entertainment, you might as well learn a little about the life you could be having. Go for it.”
– Commander Chaz Remmington, AstroBase Special Expeditionary Wing
The Adventures of the USS Carpathiain Outer Space!!
Episode 7: Space Files of a Private Dick, or, When I’m Gone Perry Me Deep
A shadowy hacker has crashed the Carpathia’s computer and James Perry, private detective is on the case! Trading his pilot’s cap for a weatherbeaten fedora, Perry prods the ship’s seamy underbelly in pursuit of the one thing it seems money can’t buy: the truth. Will the stalwart first officer solve the mystery in time to salvage the Captain’s trade negotiations? Where does Ollie’s vidya game fit in all this? Why did Korgath cancel yoga? And who the hell is Lorraine?
Scott Ross – Captain Jack Derby, Merchant Dhe’Zeen
Phil Garland – Lt. James Perry
Justin Wilson – Ensign Ollie Klozerhoff, Korgath, Mortimer the Robutler
Sara Leavens – Faye Chinsky
Sara Kennedy – Lorraine Bain, Computer
Ever ask what rap would be like if the lyrics were rewritten to be children’s songs? Of course you have! And we did it! This spiritual episode starts with New God Flow, to new age mental aggression, to the Old God Flow – meaning friendly religious fundamentalists from Kansas.
Everyone’s favorite radio personality, Peter Carson, returns to the Dancing Bear Variety Hour to promote his latest project: a collection of hip hop hits rerecorded with kid-friendly lyrics. Order today to enjoy classics like “In Da Tub” and “Must Be My Mommy”! (Scott Ross)
2. Psychic Frenemies Network
Everyone wants to believe that there’s something beyond this material life we lead – and the idea of receiving guidance from whatever mystic forces might be out there fascinates us. But sometimes that guidance is a little…bitchy. (Scott Ross)
3. Westboro Baptist Church Advertisement
DBVH originally hails from Lawrence, Kansas, a lovely college town just down the way from Westboro Baptist Church, famous for its acute hatred of… well basically everybody. But like Jesus probably once said, everyone deserves a second chance. So we decided to devote some airtime to helping WBC help improve their image! (Scott Ross)
Sometimes I forget that part of the reason for maintaining a personal/creative website is telling people about the things I do. Well, this is today. Better late than never.
To elaborate, I’m writing a five-act play for my MFA Thesis. Tonight we’ll be reading the second act, in the desperate hope that it comes off as funny. The premise is a bunch of middle-aged men wearing loin-cloths and spouting Marxist slogans so if it isn’t, I have some serious reconsiderations to do.
“Was I excited to hear about a radio show based on Jack Derby and his boys? You betcha! The way I see it’s, any good press for AstroBase is fine by me. Oh sure, Derby might have ruffled a few feathers here and there by working outside regulations or unilaterally committing an occasional act of war. But we never made too much truck about that kinda stuff back on the salt flats of Minnesota. Truth is, the man can fight. And he’s no slouch on the bar stool either!”
– Rear Admiral Lucinda Nevers, Assistant Chief of Military Operations, AstroBase Third Fleet
The Adventures of the USS Carpathiain Outer Space!!
Episode 6: A.I.’m Not Okay (I Promise), or, With Apologies to Harlan Ellison
After receiving a hail from a planetary supercomputer, the Carpathia makes a stop at the run-down planet Bouniffalia. Eager to partake in alternative shore leave, Lt. Perry sets about building walls for wall-less locals. After Faye and Korgath ditch him for the planet’s volcanic spas, he teams up with a suspicious missionary from ReligiCorp. Meanwhile Ollie and Capt. Derby evaluate the artificial intelligence for personhood – though they’re more interested in assailing it with their personal beliefs.
Scott Ross – Captain Jack Derby, Father Matheson
Phil Garland – Lt. James Perry
Justin Wilson – Ensign Ollie Klozerhoff, Korgath, Bouniffle Mayor
Sara Leavens – Engineer Faye Chinsky, Artie the A.I.
Dancing Bear Variety Hour is on the road this episode, with sketches about Detroit cops, wild boars from Los Angeles, the return of Chopper Claude as a New York tour guide, and the tallest buildings in Topeka, Kansas.
A city plagued by white collar crime and regulatory noncompliance run rampant. A good cop gunned down in his prime. An experimental technology capable of bringing him back as the perfect crime-citing machine. Logical. Tireless. Organized. He is: RoboDeskCop. (Phil Garland)
2. The Vault: The Great Los Angeles Boar Stampede
A new feature, THE VAULT trains its unflinching eye on events from the past often overlooked by the history books. In this inaugural edition, we present those fateful hours when the city of Los Angeles was briefly held hostage by a rampaging herd of wild boars. (Justin Wilson)
3. Tallest Building in Topeka Awards, March Edition
We skipped a couple of months there, but have no fear! The return of sketches means the return of our vaunted Tallest Building in Topeka Awards. I won’t give anything away, but this month’s winner is a real tall building!
4. Tour Guide Claude in New York
It seems that things haven’t worked out for our favorite French existentialist weather-copter reporter. Claude now finds himself pointing out the sights as a Big Apple tour guide – though what could be a more fitting monument to man’s absurd, transitory existence than the slavish worship of our commercial capital? (Phil Garland)
“I wasn’t thrilled about the proposal to make a radio series about the Carpathia. I thought, ‘Great. Another show exploiting some distorted notion of patriotism to glorify narratives of conquest and cultural domination.’ Then I realized that basically the only people who listen are my grandmother and her friends. So if this latest cynical play on the public’s simplistic worldview has one thing going for it, I guess it would be its complete irrelevance to any significant aspect of popular culture. Keep it up.”
– Ensign Oliver “Ollie” Klozerhoff, helmsman aboard the USS Carpathia
The Adventures of the USS Carpathiain Outer Space!!
Episode 5: When a Man Loves a Female Member of a Plant-like Alien Species, or, The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Menelaeans
The crew enjoys a layover on an orbiting casino, until a rowdy gang of Menelaeans burst in and accuse Derby of kidnapping their captain’s daughter! Determined to stop an ill-advised wedding, the rival captains team up and pursue the love-struck couple across a grand tour of Tallinor Prime’s most romantic locales. Meanwhile, Faye helps Korgath experience the human activity known as gambling.
Scott Ross – Captain Jack Derby, Gleek’ta Nur Finsal
Phil Garland – Lt. James Perry, Pelanixor Nim Finsal
Justin Wilson – Ollie, Korgath
Sara Leavens – Engineer Faye Chinsky
A pile of sketches that put familiar characters in unfamiliar situations, beginning with the shadowy union of cult TV and, well, cults. Also, a group of three stooges man a missile silo, a PSA from the new supervillain in town, and Khalid Sheik Mohammed is a sportscaster!
1. 197th Quarterly Meeting of the Sacred Whovian Order
A forty year-old British science fiction show that has its origins in laughably low-budget effects and ridiculous storylines, yet commands a near-religious devotion amongst its fans? Could this baffling phenomenon be explained by something sinister, perhaps even…. demonic? (Justin Wilson)
2. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Presents Sochi Winter Olympics With Khalid Sheikh Mohammed
Internationally-renowned religious extremist and “9-11 Mastermind” Khalid Sheikh Mohammed made waves recently by disseminating a manifesto from his cell at Guantanamo, but that’s not all he’s been up to! DBVH offers you exclusive access to his latest career turn. (Scott Ross)
3. Nuclear Stooges
The Cold War is over, but somebody still has to watch over our nation’s stockpiles of nuclear missiles. This heavy responsibility is not for everyone. It requires discipline, vigilance, and the foresight to hold your hand sideways in front of your face so you don’t get poked in the eyes. (Phil Garland)
4. Dangerpus Industries is Coming to Town!
Entertainment personality Peter Carson explains the implications of the new Dangerpus Industries Inc. facility opening in your neighborhood. Recently discovered in the Dangerpus Industries media vault buried six-hundred feet below an active volcano in Latvia. Pay no attention to the strange lights in the sky. (Scott Ross)
