“When I was first asked to introduce the opening episode of the Dancing Bear Variety Hour, my reaction was immediate and emphatic. ‘What in the hell is that, and why in God’s name should I give half a damn?’ I inquired. On being informed that it is apparently a platform for so-called comedy of the simplest and most puerile variety – in which my own person is repeatedly slandered and my reputation shamelessly degraded – I repressed my urge to vomit and composed this statement:

People don’t want comedy on the radio. Radio programs are for international news, financial reports, and avoiding pointless small talk while overnight guests gather their belongings in the morning. Stop wasting your time.”

– Jack Derby, AstroBase Officer and Captain of the USS Carpathia



Episode 1: “Ambitious Pilot, or, GURPetology 101”

Download the episode!

Here we bring you our first ever episode of The Adventures of the USS Carpathia in Outer Space. Originally broadcast on KJHK in September 2013, it introduces the intrepid crew of the Carpathia as they seek to unravel the mystery of heroic Chaz Remmington’s disappearance while testing Dr. Tobayashi’s vaunted Ambition Drive.

As these posts are being backdated after doing the show for seven months, it bears noting that this first episode was originally written for a science fiction literature class – part of our focus was playing up the tropes and cliches of the genre. So beyond the usual episode one clunkiness, there’s some questionable racial/gender humor intended to satirize the stereotypes we found in a lot of older SF. It doesn’t really play if you aren’t “in on it” and we’ve happily developed beyond that as we’ve continued.

Also, Faye says “Star Fleet” which is really embarrassing.

Written by Scott Ross, Justin Wilson, and Phil Garland